okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
