in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
