He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh god it's open bar.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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