you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
