Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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