i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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