Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
