Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
