Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
