I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize