feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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