So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
