OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
