Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
