God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
