Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
