He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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