Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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