Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
