Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Two words: blizzard sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
