I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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