..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
