Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My vagina is officially offended.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
