Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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