then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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