There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
did you just send me my own nude
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
