For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
