The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
