You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
false alarm, still single
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
