New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
