I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
