Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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