I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
