she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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