So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it glows. i had to have it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
