I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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