um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
