how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I want a musical about memes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
