I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You were trust falling into bushes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
