i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
