dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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