i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
