I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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