Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
