you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
