i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
