in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize