Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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