we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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