Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
