It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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