I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
