She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
