My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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