absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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