ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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