I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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