i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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