You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
