Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
