OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
