He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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