We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
