She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
