I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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