now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
