My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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