hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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