dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
A+ Viking dick
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
