she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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