Me too!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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