Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no, he came in my armpit
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize