i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
