If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
