last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
