the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
