do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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