lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
tell me about the eggs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
