so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
