"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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